Bandages and Lubricant
by lm25pc
Summary: Post 4.11. Cause I am pissed off. Bandages to heal the wounds, lubricant to smooth things over.. Merder. If that is possible after Shonda hatchet jobbed them.
1. Of all the

**Disclaimer – Not mine, obviously, otherwise I wouldn't have gone from loving McDreamy, to hating him. Trying to bring back the Merder love. If it is salvagable.**

Meredith sat in the overstuffed armchair, reading about the rumours of off-screen love between two TV stars. Her head propped by the hand of her right arm resting on the wide arm of the chair, the other hand idly twirling her newly highlighted hair around her fingers. As she finished the article and turned the page, she glanced up at the clock. 2:45pm. Her appointment had been for 2, she had gotten here at 2:10, characteristically running late, catching her breath she had puffed her apologies to the receptionist. She was pretty sure the ice queen behind the desk had taken great glee in telling her that this time she'd have to wait, the woman she had an appointment with was running late as well. At first she had toyed with the idea of cancelling, leaving it to next week, cause it wasn't her fault, right, that wouldn't be avoiding. But she had been trying so hard here and making progress, and all that beckoned at home was a few loads of laundry. So she had nodded, agreed she'd wait, and lost herself in the comfort of the chair and the guilty delights of gossip magazines.

Having moved on from the potentially adulterous TV stars, to the moth to the flame of destruction pop starlet, she didn't look up as she heard the heavy old fashioned door to the waiting room open and soft footsteps make their way across the thick carpet. She snapped out of her reverie when she heard the new arrivals voice.

"Dr Shepherd, for my 3pm appointment"

Crap, she groaned inwardly and tried to sink further into the plush chair, raising the magazine higher. She heard the cool murmur of the receptionists voice offering a similar story to hers, Dr Shepherd's seemed to come with a much more apologetic voice though.

"Ok, well I'm here now, I'll wait" he said.

Crap, she groaned again as he sat down in one of the matching chairs opposite hers. From her hiding spot behind her trashy magazine she could hear him rustling through the pile of magazines on the low table. That would be right she thought, he can't just grab trash like normal people.

The rustling stopped, and in the cool silence of the waiting room she could hear him settle into the chair and eventually the whisper of turning pages indicated that he was reading.

Cautiously she lowered her magazine so she could peer over the top of the pages. Crap. She'd been hoping that maybe there were two Dr Shepherds in Seattle with the same voice. But no. Same dark wavy hair, give away uniform of jeans, button down and sweater. Crap.

As he shifted in his chair she quickly raised her magazine back up. Her mind raced trying to formulate a plan. Unfortunately, despite the churning, her mind could not get past "Crap". She eventually sighed and turned a page of the magazine for authenticity sake. This, this is why she was dark and twisty Meredith. If it could go wrong it would. She mused over their twisted mess of Derek and her relationships, in plural, unfortunately.

She swallowed a giggle as her mind tossed up the cheesy line "of all the psychologist offices in the world he had to walk into mine".

She glanced up again at the clock, 2:55pm. The receptionist had deigned to inform her earlier that Dr Lewson was due back shortly after 3pm. If she didn't want to get caught here by Derek, she had to come up with a plan and execute it pretty quickly. After many convoluted options, she settled on the simple get up and walk out.

Taking a breath for courage, she prepared to flee.

"Beep Beep, Beep Beep." Crap.

Derek's hand flew to his pager out of habit, when he realised it wasn't his he looked up at the occupant of the other chair for the first time.

Crap.

Crap.

"Meredith" he questioned

She shrugged and pulled the offending pager off her jeans waistband. As she looked at the message she couldn't help but smile.

"Hahn finally let Cris in on a surgery" she offered him.

"Right, good" he replied nodding dumbfoundedly.

They sat and stared at each other for a few moments, emotions, tensions and desires flooding the air between them.

At the same moment they both spoke.

"What are you doing here?"

**AN – Short I know. Sorry. But hopefully if I stick to short, they will be often. I get lost and bogged down when I get long.**

**Reviews would be nice, if you feel like it.**


	2. Leather Couch

"What are you doing here?"…

The question reverberated around the room. The soft tapping of the receptionist's keyboard the only small sound.

Meredith's embarrassment at being caught in her psychologists waiting room slowly started to fade as she realised that Derek looked even more uncomfortable than she felt. Her initial embarrassment was being replaced with the shock of Derek being here, to, quite obviously see Dr Lewson. I mean she was dark and twisty Meredith, people may be shocked that she'd stopped avoiding long enough to go and see someone about her issues. No one was likely to be surprised that she needed to.

Derek though, well he was Derek. Cocky neuro-god surgeon extraordinaire. Bright and shiny Derek with the leaning and the head tilting. Derek, McDreamy, ok well lately McAss, but not McDamagedgoods. Surely.

Derek was at the shrinks.

Oh my god.

Meredith's mind whirled with the implications of Derek sitting in the chair opposite her. She noticed as he started to squirm and clear his throat with an attempt to answer.

Somewhere deep inside, from the part of her that would always love him in some way, she found the inclination to save him, to let him off the hook, from a situation he obviously was mortified by.

"Yeah, well, you know, Mummy issues, Daddy issues, abandonment issues, trust issues.." here she narrowed her eyes at him slightly.. "anyway, Cris refused to keep helping me, after.. umm, well after…" Meredith trailed off not sure how to refer to their demise.

"After we were done" he offered, clearly more comfortable now that she was talking.

"Yeah after we were done. Cris decided there was no point anymore. In helping, well not psych book helping, anyway, I came to the conclusion, that maybe she wasn't helping so much. I mean, she wanted to help, and obviously was, helping, in a being there and reading the books way. But really, I don't think it helped, in a real sense. I mean she just named my already obvious issues… and you know. I mean the reasons she was helping, for the getting ready and stuff, well clearly that didn't work. Well, I mean I was getting ready and working through my issues, but obviously not enough, or quickly enough. Not as Dr Lewson says, that there is some 'right' timescale for this thing, but, you know, well, not quickly enough for you…" again Meredith trailed off, realising she had rambled herself into a corner.

Derek had started to smile as he listened to Meredith, watching her nervously play with her watch as she rambled on. As she drew to a close, he became uncomfortable again as he realised what she was referring to.

"Oh, ok" he awkwardly replied.

The silence resumed as they sat contemplating each other. Six weeks had passed since they were "done". There had been a week or so of awkwardness between them straight after, but they had managed to find a professional co-existence which allowed them to work together, but they hadn't talked about anything apart from work matters, and they had made no references to their previous relationships. They had avoided, together, apart.

Meredith had been aware that Derek had jumped straight into dating Rose. The Seattle Grace gossip mill had also let her know that it seemed to peter out after a few weeks. She'd heard the nurses use a phrase "damaged goods" when discussing Rose and Derek's short liaison. She'd cringed and hurried away with her charts.

"Anyway" she finally broke the silence "I was probably more sick of dark and twisty Meredith than anyone else, so, yeah, I found a shrink, cause I want to get past these issues, for me"

Derek smiled "good, I'm glad, for you"

"Yeah me too"

"Is it working?"

"Yeah I think so, I mean, a lot of it was just timing, do much happened last year, I had no time to process much"

"It was an".. Derek searched for the right phrase "eventful year" he finally supplied.

"Eventful, yeah" she chuckled.

"But still, I thought you were completely anti shrinks" he asked

"I know, well, you know, I figured the "I don't need help" line wasn't cutting it, and I put a bit of effort into finding the right person" she offered

"So you're telling me that not only are you seeing a psychologist, but you researched her" Derek asked with a raised eyebrow

"Well I just asked around a bit, for a patient, you know. For a good female shrink close to Seattle Grace, Dr Lewson came with good recommendations"

"I know, I'm surprised you specified a female, what happened to equality in the medical profession" he joked

"Well, Ellis sent me to a shrink when I was 16 and going through my pink hair phase. I spent 18 months getting screwed every week on his leather couch." She replied with a shrug of her shoulders.

"Oh Meredith" she offered sympathetically

"It wasn't that bad" she dismissed with a wave of her hand "at the time I was a willing participant, but you know, didn't leave me with a lot of faith in the process"

"Understandably"

"So yeah, female, easy to get to, good reputation, and no leather couch" they were my criteria.

He chuckled with her, glad to be talking with her, despite the oddness of the situation.

"So anyway, that's what I'm doing here, but Derek, why the hell are you here?"

Crap.


End file.
